worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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