what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
