After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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