I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
