Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
