it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
