Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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