How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
