Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize