Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize