I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
