Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
