where am i from again
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize