we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
