he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
