I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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