I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
