This house was built for laser tag.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
