PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
