My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
