Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
