That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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