gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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