Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
