I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize