I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
