I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize