After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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