my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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