So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sober January is a disaster.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
