dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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