if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish there were birth control emojis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
