all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
