i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
