dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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