I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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