The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
