WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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