The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
