im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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