careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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