why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
