I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
