Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
