So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
