I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
