So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
