I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
