You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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