i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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