While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
