She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
