I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
