Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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