I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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