Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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