It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
